Chris Norris - The Unsung Hero

Hey guys,

I would have damn myself for entire life if i would not have discovered this immortal gem. Chris Norris is not so famous American martial artist ,best known for his roundhouse kick and amazing list of action movies which you can find only on internet( i mean the list ..no idea about actual movies).The heroic feat of this Legend may even forced the greatest of gods to hung their heads in shame . This man defies all the logic and conventions ever known to the world.He is the beginning and end of everything.

Well, consider yourself enough fortunate as you are about to witness the unfolding of the mysteries that had been hovering over mankind since the evolution.

Here we go....

Chuck Norris makes onions cry.

Chuck Norris can play the violin with a piano.

When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

The last digit of pi is Chuck Norris. He is the end of all things.

Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one can fool Chuck Norris.

If you misspell Chuck Norris on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."

Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

When you say “no one’s perfect”, Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.

When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.

No one knows when the world is going to end because Chuck Norris hasn't decided yet.

It doesnt rain chuck norris roundhouse kicks the sky and it starts crying.

If you stare at a US flag, a 3D image of Chuck Norris appears.

Chuck norris tells his GPS system where to go.

Norris can strangle a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris computer has the IP address 0.0.0.0.

There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.

Chuck Norris rips CDs with his handS.

Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

Cars were invented as a quicker way of getting away from chuck norris....But not to be outdone , chuck norris invented the car accident.

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Chuck Norris can slam a revoving door.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity...............TWICE!!

Chuck Norris' tears cures cancer. Too bad he never cries.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you.

When Chuck Norris had surgery, the anesthesia was applied to the doctors.

While most people's white blood cells are pure white, Chuck's have a black ring around them, signifying that they are black belt cells and can officially kick any disease's ass.

The only reason Outer Space exists is bcoz it is to afraid to live on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

When God said let there be light, Chuck Norris said, "Say Please."

There's no such thing as Evolution, just descendants of Chuck Norris.

Hope U Njoyed!!

Feel free to comment.

A.R. Rahman "Jai Ho" Concert,Pune,31st May 09

Hi guys. 

This is the first ever article  i have written of any sort.But what better way could it be to start than this.I have tried to give you a detailed description of the entire concert without been  much descriptive....I guess.

The evening of the 31st May,2009 was one of the most anticipated event among the puneites.A large excited crowd gathered at the Balewadi Stadium well before the time to seal their places.Well,I too reached there by 2 p.m.The show was schedule to start at 7.While the crowd waited impatiently outside the stadium,we could hear the Maestro and his troupe practising for the great evening ahead.The crowd acknowledge it with whistles and chants galore of "Rahman,Rahman". The gates were supposed to open by 3:30,but finally we got the access at 5.The crowd started settling themselves as time went by.Finally the eagernes and aniticipation was broken into an envelope of complete silence and what followed next was an lifeitme experience that would linger in our minds forever.

Moments before GOD graced the stage, RJ's of Radiomirchi(i felt like putting some mirchi into their mouth for their wonderful anchoring) welcomed the crowd and asked the audience to screamed "Jai Ho" at the top of their voices.The crowd did comply but their loudest screams and cheers were reserved for their GOD.Finally they left ,thank them.The first piece of music was a Fusion.A sitar artist occupying the stairs on the central stage ,with just a single spot light entirely focussed on him, started playing the instrument.The crowd got completely absorbed into it and then the beats by Shivamani  and various electronic instruments rocked the crowd.During the whole fusion, there seemed a fusion too  in the screams  of ours.Then, Blaaze stormed onto the stage rhyming "When i say Jai, u say Ho".While we kept following his instruction ,he made a call to GOD who replied "My Jai Ho tu you Pune".Finallly GOD emerged into a lift like structure from the somewhere middle of the stage,clad in White Sherwani.He started off with "Jage hai der tak" from Guru followed by "Adhira then", a track from Sivaji. I doubt the crowd got even  a single word of it(leave the tamilians..),but the atmosphere was electrifying.The song ended leaving the audience to beg for more.

But it was the talk  before the track that left the audience charmed."Namaskar,Salaam and Satshriakal.So finally my dream to come to Pune has come true.We are goin to have fun with some good songs,some mistakes and some bad songs" he said with a laugh.The next song to be followed was the title track of delhi 6, perfomed by GOD's troupe of artist which forced the audience to clear up their throats.What came next left the audience spellbound.Yes,the one of its kind singer Hariharan and the melodious Sadhna Sargam's entry on stage caught everyone by surprise as they immediately launched into the song "Roja".And the crowd hummed along,especially in the chorus part the audience sang the "Roja" word in unison.The crowd were forced to seal their lips when the Hariharan shifted the gear into Aalab.Well the song ended while the crowd screaming"Once more, once more."Then Raja Hassan(runner up of sare ga ma) made the crowd whistling to the cracker "Masakali,Masakali" and then the GOD reappeared.

GOD who had been interviewed by some lucky ones,decided to take the job himself and threw questions like if they love music,what do they love in music and so,and then he dedicated the song "Jiya se Jiya" to them. The next  in the playlist was Latika's theme ,on which few dancers put up splendid show displaying various stunts of martial art.Raja Hassan then presented the popular romantic piece "Guzarish" ,accompanied by Anouska Shankar.The"Dreamz on fire" recieved a big round of applause.A number of dancers stormed the stage with a fabulous performance on "Taal" western mix , which slowly transformed into "Ringa Ringa".It was performed by number of artists like Neetin Mohan, Anouska and few more singers and amazing dancers.The God returned and with first beat of the next to be followed song,he made the audience rose to their feets .Yes the very beautiful "DIL SE". He succeeded in eliciting the loudest of cheers from the folks.After the performance,he said "I do not normally sing this song in shows, but i got too many emails asking for this particular song".Anouska Shankar pulled  out another delhi 6 number..GENDA PHOOL but while she launched into the song the mic decided to rest for a few sec.The synchro was back and upto the beat before the song turns into hip hop..I guess this was the mistake to which God referred early.

Next up was the foursome( no pun intended) performance Of GOD, Hariharan, special guest Roop kumar Rathod and Rashid Ali.The only instrument involved into the act was a Grand Piano.What a rare sight- seeing MOZART himself playing Piano.While the GOD played piano , the other three kept singing melodious and some patriotic numbers.Hariharan started with soulful "Tu hi re", followed by "Dhemi dheemi",Roopkumar Rathod sang the beaultiful "Khamosh Raat"from Thakshak.Then GOD enquired about the number of people feeling romantic and Rashid Ali dedicated "Kahin to hogi" to the respective folks.During the act,the entire stage was bathed in thin film of blue color which created an mesmerising ambience.Then,GOD mentioned that the forthcoming songs are his favourite as they werevery closed to his heart.Any guesses....they were"Sarfaroshi ki Tamanna " and "Bharat humko jaan se pyaara hai" .Just before the start, the stage suddenly assumed the color of our Tiranga,ah what a beautiful sight it was.The majestic voice of Hariharan lifted the atmosphere altogether to an unprecedented level.Those were the best moments, magical ones which will remain etched in our memories forever.

After the stupendous unplugged session,the RJ's hopped onto the stage, again annoying and irritating the crowd.Waiting for his turn,Rashid Ali thanked the Rj's and started "Kabhi Kabhi Aditi" with a unique style dedicating it to all the Aditi's present there.While the crowd seemed lost into the song, they regained the consciousness as the GOD's voice broke the spell just to make them enter into another one.Before the starting the next song,he explained the reason for writing it.He narrated as i remembered"Once , i was on a plane and i saw a video of two neighbours who despite fighting constantly,never asked each other to change themselves.I hope even i can remain the same as i am ."I know you must have guessed by now,yes the  very romantic "Rehna tu ".He was accompanied by his troupe arist which occcupied the stage in beautiful pattern leaving the centre stage reserved for the GOD.The next in the queue was "Chup ke se". That was the least expected song among the crowd as they as were hoping for a fast number rather than another romantic and slow one,but anyways atleast she sang well.

The crowd rose to their feets agian as Neeti Mohan(Aasma) along with the other artist made them dance to beats of "Mayya Mayya"(Guru).Oh ,What a performance it was.The curves,the moves and the belly dance displayed by Neeti Mohan set the stage ablaze.Surely , hips don't lie.Now the felicitation part,the moment the "Nightingale of India",Lata Mangeshkar stepped upto stage the crowd gave her a standing ovation.God said its a great honor to share the stage with her.Thanking the crowd,she said innocently"atta mi kai bole toh tumi aaiknar ka?( would u listen if i say something...),immediately the whole stadium echoed with "YES". She congratulated GOD for winning oscars and mentioned that "Its said a great moment of pride and honor for all of us and Rahman Sahab will definitely win more awards."Everybody was overwhelmed when Lata didi referred to GOD as Rahman Sahab.Then pointing towards God she said"Tyana marathi samjat nahi"but GOd sprang a surprise by saying "I,Do".The whole conversation was a historic one.

The Concert was not over yet.Blaaze,Benny Dahl and Anouska started with Gangsta Blue and eventually ended with Kaala Bandar.I dont think anybody had any clue about the next performance.Hats off to DJ ken, who produce a mind-blowing remix number.He starts mixing wit..ajeemo shaan ...hamma....rang de basanti(RDB)...mustafa..tanha ha tahna...yu hi chala..yuva theme..taal western mix..aditi..ringa ..jungal mein bole koyal ..robaroo...Beat of passion...Pappu can't..rangeela...shano shano....mukabala...tunuk tunuk (bhagat singh)...shano shano...fanna.....! After this rocking remix, it was showtime fot shivamani ,who started the Azzem -o-shan with heavy drum beats accompanied by a number of artist.While GOD descended from the top of centre stage ,the music shifted to the beats of Rukmani and ended with some tamil song i can't recall.Again Benny Dahl and Anouska sang the wonderful "kaisi Mujhe Tum" while performing some nice dance steps and they stopped just in nick of time before the crowd could declare it as an another "obscene".

  The Khwaja moment of the show was when the GOD dressed up in traditional namaz attire and performed "Khwaja Mere Khwaja" thereby filling the entire stage wtih aura of sufimism.Then, next he sang "Arziyan" along with Naved and Raja Hassan.God brought the audience once again onto their feet when he came down the stage and mingled in the audience while singing "Hamma Hamma".The entire song he sang in tamil but chorus part was in Hindi.He egged on the audience to sing along with him and his fans responded whole heartedly.

As the show came to an end,the whole troupe of artists covered the entire stage and GOD performed on "Jai Ho".The entire stadium resounded with "Jai Ho", and in continuum he sang the evergreen patriotic number"Vande Mataram" with a pitch so high that only a few can dare to dream of achieving it.At the same instant, the entire stage bathed in Tiranga once again and the sky was lit with fireworks.

"I thank you for all the love.I had a great time and hope to see you all next time" said GOD as he signed off.

Feel free to comment.